Dismal Times

I have seen tempests, when the scolding winds
Have rived the knotty oaks, and I have seen
The ambitious ocean swell and rage and foam,
To be exalted with the threatening clouds:
But never till to-night, never till now,
Did I go through a tempest dropping fire.

And yesterday the bird of night did sit
Even at noon-day upon the market-place,
Hooting and shrieking. When these prodigies
Do so conjointly meet, let not men say '
These are their reasons; they are natural;'
For, I believe, they are portentous things
Unto the climate that they point upon.

Julius Caesar, Act I Scene III

As you can tell, ive had Shakespeare on the mind recently. Mostly because of the weather of late. Maybe its not like this in the other parts of Georgia, but I havnt even seen the sun today. Instead, there were just innumerable gray clouds rolling over, almost as if the wind on their backs would swallow time itself. Its been kind of crazy, and it really has started to remind me of Shakespeare. Whenever there was a storm in Shakespeare, you know some crazy stuff was about to go down.

As weird as it sounds, its made me very uncertain all day. This morning, I woke up to a thunder storm raging outside, and I almost feared for my life. I wish I knew what was going on, but if God indicates anything with weather, dismal times are ahead.

In fact, the weather itself is a pretty good description of my life right now. All is chaos, and nothing that seemed certain is even certain anymore. I more and more feel myself drifting away from this place, almost as much as this whole place seems to be drifting away from me. Of course, its still a very long time before I actually "go" anywhere, but things are already being put into place. Just like how everything starts to fall in to place by the second act. The question is, by the time I get to the final scene, will it be a comedy or a tragedy? (my vote is on the latter)

I always knew leaving home would be hard, but I dont think I ever thought it would be like this. The closer and closer the time comes for me to leave, the harder everything gets. The more storms rush in. The more people drift away. The more reality seems to slip away from me.

I think these next few months will be a trial by fire. It will be interesting to see who I come out as. I dont even think I will recognize myself.

All I know is rhat right now, what i'm praying is this:

LET IT RAIN


~Jared