Anyways, work sucked today. On many levels of which I dont feel like getting into right now. Although, for some reason all of that doesnt seem to matter
, because when I got out of my car and looked up, all I saw were stars. Unusually enough, my thoughts were not "Oh, God is big," but rather "Oh, my life is insignificant." For the same reason, almost every thing I do (like working) seems extremely worthless. Like I am, as Solomon says, "grasping for the wind." I guess theres a reason Ecclesiastes is my favorite book of the Bible.Solomon also said that there is no greater joy than for a man to enjoy his work. On this point I'm not so strong. Sometimes I'm wondering why I even have a job, but then I remembered the important word: money. Everything in this world seems to be about money. If you're not making the big bucks, then you're destitute and shunned by society. I wonder if Solomon had that in mind when he wrote Ecclesiastes.
In fact, I think that is one of the things that bothers me most about the world. Why is it there always has to be such a wall of seperation between people who have money and those who dont? Why is it your whole life has to be committed to being "well off" and wealthy?
I hate poverty. I hate how it dehumanizes people in both the eyes of themselves and of other people. I can never explain it, but something about seeing it makes me sick to my stomach. No matter how many times ive seen it, it never becomes "normal" to me.
I remember seeing the poverty in Tijuana. It was probobly the first time I had seen poverty that widespread, and it sickens me almost every day to think about it. People were living in conditions that I never even thought "livable" (whatever that means)
But you know what the craziest thing is? I envy them. Crossing the border as an emotionally unstable person that couldn't give a crap for anyone, I envied those I saw. They had something that I didnt have. They were happy. They cared for their families. They didnt care that they were'nt "well off," they just thanked God for the things they had.
I also remember one person I met at home ministry. It was an old man. A widow. He lived all alone, without children, in a small deserted shack, and as worse off as he was, he told us he still trusted God. You think YOUR faith has been tested?
I dont think I can bear to live with alot of money. It doesnt seem to give anyone pleasure. All people do is run off and do something stupid with it, and then die. I would rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable. I hate being constricted by the "American Dream." Its not my dream. Its someone elses.
This post has gone in circles, and I dont think I know where its gone. I have so many things I want to change, I just dont know how. But, I guess in all fairness I should tie it back to the title. Everything I do seems like a speck in the eye of eternity. Nothing. something that will be flicked out. Yet I know God can change things, even if I cant.
I just got to throw down my net.
~Jared
6 comments:
This was an interesting post. The title should be an epic rock song. Definitely need to work on that.
I have similar feelings to those you have just shared, but rather than poverty, I have strong feelings about homelessness. With all the money we have, with all the people we have in just the city of Atlanta, one would think that if the church truly was serving God, they would do something about it? Yet, every time I ride through the city, wether it is the dead of winter or the heat of the summer, I see people sleeping under bridges in whatever they can find.
While money is the root of all evil, it, like everything else on this world can be used for God.
So much of what you wrote is how i feel. And when i read the part about the "wall" between the rich and the poor, i remembered something i saw in Mexico, that i hope to take you guys to when we are down there.
It's a wall. A BIG concrete wall that surrounds the community of Santa Rosa, where Pan de Vida is. Over the last 3ish years, a community of apartments and nice homes has been built on the other side of that wall. That wall, is meant to keep the poor people away from the wealthy. But the cool part to me is that, when those people in their nice apartments look out their back windows, they look directly into Santa Rosa and get a constant reminder of how other people live. And even cooler, some of the people in Santa Rosa are actually going into the richer community and witnessing. AMAZING. They have never ceasing love and compassion, even in their circumstances. I want that peace and that contentment.
I think, in so many ways they have it better then us. They don't let the material things of this world become idols.
And it amazes me at how small we are, and how huge God is. That he works even in the midst of our circumstances. He makes beauty out of our mess.
Technically, Donovon is right, but the Bible says that the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Not money in and of itself.
Practically speaking, if we didn't have money our entire society would come crashing down around us and everything would be insanity.
However, I agree heavily with your post on many levels. I'm just going to speak from a practical standpoint here,and less from an emotional standpoint.
I don't believe that money is inherently bad. I don't believe that HAVING money is bad. I mean if money in and of itself was evil than the point of your entire post would be contradicting itself.
I do, however, agree with what you are saying in this post because so many people fall in love with money. They fall in love with their blessed lives and it becomes their only focus. Yes, God provides for his children, but does that mean we're supposed to start being gluttons? Nope. We're supposed to use our gifts and blessings for HIS purposes. That's why he provides with the money and the means in the first place.
Too many people (Christians included) lose the point. They're like: GOD BLESS ME! And when he does they don't give anything back. That's what sickens me about our lifestyle. People don't use their blessings and money becomes the love of their lives. Everything else is secondary.
As for the second part of your post. Man, let's face it. Our existence is meaningless. There isn't a point to our lives.
But before you think I'm turning into a nihilist let me say this: That's where God comes in. When we accept Him and say "Take my life. Take all of me." that's when our existence becomes meaningful.
We don't do anything by ourselves. Any achievements we make in this life is because God has blessed us and has called us to use those achievements to further His work on the Earth.
I guess what I'm saying with this big, long comment is that God makes every area of our lives mean something. Just as long as we are totally and completely living for Him. Minute we start living for ourselves, is the minute that life has no point.
And praise Him for spell check...
thats the real funny thing about Ecclesiastes. In the beginning, its like "vanity, vanity, all as vanity." Its not till later that he says "God makes it worthwhile." I remember getting really depresed because I hadnt read the second part of the book. ha.
The disparity and contrast of it is what gets me. 25 miles apart, you have one house that wants more money so they can buy a new 72" LCD, and on the other side a household that only really wants enough to keep their basic necessities in check.
I do hope that whatever I wind up doing in life, it yields a lot of money. However, an even greater hope is that I will be able to spend it in such a way that blesses the people who make very little. I've been tested a lot in that, and failed a lot, but it would be my ideal. I'm not a fan of economic communism, but at the same time there is little reason to have one country so terribly much wealthier than so many others.
Props to the images in this blog. The stars are red (which is really neat).
Ecclesiastes ,is a great work of Solomon (with God's great help), is eye opening. There are words of wisdom for the young in chapter 12. And I notice the 'American Dream' theme not being so glamorous in here too. Maybe people will catch on.
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